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Kitty and the Guest Bed

Kitty and the Guest Bed

So, does your cat ditch you at night for the visitor? Do your visitors appear in the morning with a triumphant grin and announce “Gosh, the cat slept with ME last night.” Does your cat eschew loyalty and even good manners for the guest bed only when it is occupied by the guest?

Unfaithful little trollops, who do cats think they are? And furthermore, who does the guest think he is? I know he feels secretly triumphant the cat chose him over moi. Let me tell you, dear Guest, it’s not you, it’s every guest who snores in the guest bed. Hah!

My cats have all, down to the newest and dearest, shamelessly, spent the night with the guest, right under my nose. I try not to take it personally. In fact if they weren’t so blase about their transgression, I’m not sure I’d even notice they show up in the morning waiting to be let out and fed (doesn’t matter which order), all happy happy to see me, like they’d been purring into my face all night long, when instead, they had been exploring…er…new territory, over there in the guest bedroom.

Then the guest shows up. They are always in a good mood because let’s face it, there’s nothing like the aloof cat appearing to take an incredible fascination with you. I know what my cats act like with others there in the guest room when they think I’m not looking. I hand the guest their cup of coffee, and wait–

“The cat slept with me all night! That’s so cool. My cat doesn’t go near strangers. But your cat just seemed to love me. Yup! He stayed with me all night long. What a cat!”

The cat is ignoring the conversation. The cat won’t look me in the eye. I vow to give him his least favorite food for breakfast. At that moment, I don’t know who I hate more–the cat or the guest.

One guest I loved though. My mother-in-law and a woman who always told it like it was. She came down the morning after the first night in the guest bed. The cat was nowhere to be seen. Mother-in-law didn’t say anything until early afternoon. But finally she spoke. “The cat slept with me all night. Couldn’t get enough of me all night long. I mean, we’re talking true love here. Now, in broad daylight, and out of the boudoir, she’s ignoring me like last night never happened.” Mother-in-law paused. “Slut,” she said.

#GuestBed #Humor #Pets #Visitors

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