So I rushed out to see “Bridesmaids”. Billed as the great female version of “The Hangover” band of males, an ode to women being hilarious enough for men to take seriously, and for women to at last have their own sophisticated Judd Apatow(ish) movie, I sat down in my seat, male companion sitting next to me, eagerly opened my box of Sweet Tarts–
And was treated to the weakest, most childishly self-involved, immature victim of a woman I’ve seen in a movie since…I don’t remember when. Didn’t Kristen Wiig have any say in the material? Surely she didn’t think her character should be that kind of nightmare human who always throws a fit, has a meltdown and in general ruins whatever occasion she’s attending. The kind who never can speak up in time, so heaves her yellow bellied spleen around like a four year old throwing tantrums, blaming the rest of the world for her self-induced troubles.
This is what we got as we watched Kristen Wiig’s matron-of-honor have melt down after meltdown simply because there was a strong-willed bitch of a bridesmaid in the crew of wacky bridesmaids, who successfully moves in on her best friend, the distracted bride, and takes over Wiig’s matron of honor responsibilities. Got that?
Okay, I did laugh at the scenes individually. The scene in the wedding gown shop after an iffy meal at an iffy restaurant was screamingly outrageous. Omigod, yes! Or the one where Wiig tried to get her good cop/swain to give her a ticket. But I spent the rest of the movie waiting for Wiig to shape up, sharpen up, and bring the bad bridesmaid down, for godsake. I mean, how hard could it have been. One harsh word I’m telling you, one harsh word. That’s all it would have taken. And we would have had a different movie. One where Wiig’s Chronic Victim learns how unattractive this attitude is, and learns to stand up for herself. But no. Wiig whined and moped until the bitter end.
So it disappoints me that this movie is being touted as God’s gift to women. Is this how men see us? Whiny, dependent, baby/women? Who can’t even stand up to our own kind? Especially when our pride is on the line?
But no. No wait–
I’m sure I’m wrong, and in the future, the fabulous Kristen Wiig will insist on directing herself. Because quite obviously, she didn’t get to where she is today by being anything like the woman she played in this disappointing movie.