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Irritable Yoga

Laughing Buddha and duck

I went to yoga this morning for the first time in two weeks. So I was stiff, self-conscious and irritable. I also had a band-aid on my right big toe…which is irritating in itself because I desperately need a pedicure, which will now have to be postponed. Which isn’t good, because I desperately needed a pedicure a week ago.

I had to shoo two girls around a bit to make a spot, never a good way to start a class. But they had given themselves way too much room, and I was senior enough to be pushy about it all. They moved, but definitely harbored resentments because of what occurred later.

So, on my mat, I tried to focus on myself. But that would have meant noticing that I could barely move. One (recent) airplane trip too many had frozen my knees, my hamstrings, my lower back and every place else. Yoga teacher had us shift one foot to the center and raise the other foot high into the sky for a nice thigh opener. But she worded the instructions in a new way, and the girl next to me got it all wrong. I noticed this. The instructor did not. Now we moved to our other leg. The girl did the same thing wrong. I so wanted to butt in and correct her. For her own sake, see. I used to teach yoga. I’d know how to word it correctly, with a minimum of confusion. But, I kept my mouth shut. I kept to my own space on my own mat, like I was supposed to be doing.

We moved into another pose. Now the girl in front of me was doing it all wrong. This was driving me crazy. This was annoying the hell out of me. Were these beginners in this class? I mean, what was up with such ineptitude? Why on earth couldn’t they get a simple posture right, I was thinking–

When suddenly yoga teacher was right by me, firmly poking me into the proper alignment. Poking me into the proper alignment that I should have been in in the first place. Poking me into an alignment that I first started getting right twelve years ago. Have I mentioned I’ve also taught yoga?

I was so taken aback I, god forbid, fell over. I fell right into the mat next to me. Damn.

But so, I pulled myself together. I hauled serenity and peace with my surroundings out of the hat, and continued with the rest of the class…ego-less…I hope.

At last we got to shavasana. I slowly sank into relaxation. And that’s when it happened. Both women, the one on the right, and the one on the left, the ones who way back at the beginning of the class, had been forced to make room for me, both of these women, sneezed. Fulsome sneezes. Hearty happy sneezes.


#Humor #relaxation #sneezes #yoga

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